Time for a break

[IRonMaN]

I just noticed the calendar and realized that @joshuabarksatlcs hasn't asked for his jokes yet.  I figured I better squeeze a couple in before I get in trouble.  Have a good day and my advice to you is don't try answering any questions about 1/3 home sales today unless you have been knocking back some Fireballs with rcooley first.

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company.  One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, Father, me dog is dead. Could ya' be
saying' A mass for the poor creature?'

Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe.
Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'

Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think *€5,000 is enough
to donate to them for the service?'

Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary and Joseph. Why didn't ya tell me
the dog was Catholic?'

-----------

Murphy and O'Brien go out into the woods, they come a clearing and see an
abandoned well.

Murphy said 'I wonder how deep that well is?'
O'Brien said, 'There's
one way we could figure it out'.

Murphy says, 'What's that?'
O'Brien says, 'We drop something down it,
we time how long it takes to hit the bottom, you multiply that time 32 feet
per second squared, the rate at which objects fall in a vacuum, subtract a
little for wind resistance and we've got the depth of the well'.

Murphy says, ' What are you going to drop down it?'  Then O'Brien
looked all around and he saw this big heavy log lying on the ground.
Next he squats down by the log and, using his legs correctly, he gets it up
onto his shoulders and staggers over to the edge of the well, tips it up,
drops it into the well and they start to count, 'One hippopotamus, two
hippopotamus, three .................... '

SPLASH!!!!

Murphy said, 'Three seconds!'
O'Brien said, 'Quick, multiply that time
32 feet per second squared!'
'288 feet!', Murphy said. 'Subtract a little
for wind resistance, let's say 18 feet. The depth of that well is 270 feet
deep'.

As he finished the calculation Murphy shouts, 'LOOK OUT!!' and he pushed
O'Brien backwards and a goat ran between them and jumped head first down the
well.
Murphy said, 'My God, I've never seen anything like that'.

Just then a farmer walks into the clearing and said, 'What's going on
here boys?'
O'Brien says, 'We just figured out the depth of this well to
be about 270 feet deep and then the strangest thing happened. A goat ran
between the two of us and jumped head first down into the well.'

The farmer says, 'Thank heaven it wasn't one of my goats.'
Murphy
says, 'How do you know it wasn't?'
And the farmer says, 'Because all of
my goats are tethered to big heavy logs.'

[itonewbie]

Irish countryside and O'Brien.  Must be Irish Day today!

For those who have had one too many Fireballs, that's not hangover, it's just Irish flu. 😉

[IRonMaN]

I don't believe RCooley has ever had one too many ------------------------- 15 to 20 too many maybe, but never one too many. 

[joshuabarksatlcs]

RE: I just noticed the calendar and realized that @joshuabarksatlcs hasn't asked for his jokes yet.  

Joshua is barking in the disaster-land (one of the 40+ FEMA-designated counties) and will be until October 16.  Joke requests will be on that schedule, likely begin in late August.  You guys enjoy the  April 17 rush...

[IRonMaN]

You know where to find me. 😀

[joshuabarksatlcs]

RE: You know where to find me. 

Yep sure do, unless you are still in the bottom of the well trying to save the sheep.  Or the log.

Hate to be the one to spoil it.  That's another gem of yours, but in case O'Brien is helping NASA in landing that camera thing, it's Half Gee Tee Squared when U = 0.  So if you'd climbing down only 144 feet. 

Don't say I never delivered good news to you.  

[IRonMaN]

I had it calculated at 143.98165477815578057 feet so I guess I was close.