Sven and Ole are out on vacation and Rodney Dangerfield is filling in

[IRonMaN]

Before the 12:01 a.m. frantic posts start on Monday asking why folks can't e-file, how about a break brought to you by the king of one liners:

Rodney Dangerfield Quotes About Childhood

• “I tell ya, my family were always big drinkers. When I was a kid, I was missing. They put my picture on a bottle of Scotch.”

• “When I was a kid I got no respect. When my parents got divorced there was a custody fight over me... and no one showed up.”

• “In my life I've been through plenty. When I was three years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me.”

• “I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.”

• “When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”

• “I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, ‘Wait til it gets warmer.’”

• “My mom took me to a dog show, and I won!

Quotes From Rodney Dangerfield About His Wife

• “My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”

• “I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.”

• “My wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.”

• "My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat."

• “My wife’s not too smart. I told her our kids were spoiled. She said, ‘All kids smell that way.’”

• "Once, somebody stole our car. I asked my wife if she saw who it was. She said, 'No, but I did get the license number.'"

• "My wife had her driver's test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear."

Self-Deprecating Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

• “I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous, everyone hasn't met me yet.”

• “A girl phoned me the other day and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.”

• “I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.”

• “On Halloween, the parents send their kids out looking like me.”

• “I have good-looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.”

• “My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.”

• "When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, 'I'm very sorry. We did everything we could. But he pulled through.'"

[IRonMaN]

As a side note, to make this official business how about a survey?  How many tax seasons have you folks been doing this gig?  This will be my 45th tax season, 32 of which have been with my own firm.  Anybody want to show their age by taking part in a non-Intuit survey?

[abctax55]

44th season.   40 'on my own'.

Thanks Jeff - now I feel even older than I did minutes ago 😉

[IRonMaN]

You're welcome?  😅

[Strongsilence-CPA]

30

[George4Tacks]

54 seasons including 9 as a part time gig.

I turned 80 last year. I used to THINK 80 was old. Now I KNOW 80 is old.

[IRonMaN]

You haven't aged at all George.  You look the same as you did when I first saw you here. 😉

[Camp1040]

47 Tax seasons, but not year round.

[IRonMaN]

Thanks to everyone participating in the survey.  I forgot to mention that all participants will receive a gift certificate to Wile E's Roadkill Cafe -  "If it's runned over, it's on our menu".

[ljr]

only 33 years lol 

[abctax55]

@IRonMaN   Darn, I was hoping for some lutefisk.

[IRonMaN]

Gift cards are usually cheaper to mail.  With the lutefisk I usually have to pay for additional postage in case one of the USPS employees gets sick handling it.  But for you I will make the exception and mail you out 50 pounds of lutefisk.  That should get you through tax season.

[abctax55]

Wow.... I am not worthy.

I'll keep an eye out for it; the PO is about a mile away so I should be able to smell it when it arrives.

THANK you !

[IRonMaN]

If California gets anymore of those 100 mph winds, you will smell it once it hits the state line.

[IRonMaN]

For the record, it looks @Strongsilence-CPA is the baby in the family with @ljr pulling into second place.  For the rest of us, it looks like we will soon be able to fill a wing at a nursing home of our choice. 👴👵 

[abctax55]

Party, party.... maybe like the troll party of yore?

***************

Fortunately I'm up on the other end of the state.....  altho if it stays this dry, the summer will be interesting.

[IRonMaN]

Yup, except the party will be assisted by walkers, hearing aids and prune juice.

[TaxGuyBill]

It is funny that as I was reading your Rodney Dangerfield quotes, my mind was 'hearing' his tone of voice.

I started tax preparation later in life.  Only 16 years of tax preparation for me, all of which were on my own (hindsight, starting off as self-employed was dumb).

[IRonMaN]

"starting off as self-employed was dumb"

Is that your official excuse for using ProSeries? 😜

[TaxGuyBill]

---

@IRonMaN wrote:

"starting off as self-employed was dumb"

Is that your official excuse for using ProSeries? 😜

---

Yep.  Completely clueless.  😁

[sjrcpa]

41.

Can't remember when I became an owner vs employee. Maybe 35.

[IRonMaN]

Did you want the optional lutefisk or the gift card?

[abctax55]

Jeff, if you send lutefisk to Susan, you'll be stinking up BOTH coasts 😉

[dkh]

39 years        will keep doing this for a few more years but not doing this until I'm 80 like George !

[IRonMaN]

@abctax55  It's all part of Minnesota's new clean air initiative --------- get that stuff out of here. 🤢

[IRonMaN]

@dkh  - I want to be doing this until I'm a 120.  Not that I like the profession that much, but I do want to keep pestering Intuit about form 5227 as long as I can 😜