Before I forgot I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy New Year. If you are going out to party on New Years, have fun, but be safe. If you aren't going out to party, you don't have to worry about being safe, you already are ---------- unless you live next to a highway and one of those unsafe folks drives their car through your living room wall on New Years Eve. Also, have a good tax season ------------ if there is such a thing. 🤔
No Sven or Ole, or even Lena today. Just a few quotes from my favorite comedian George Carlin:
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit
Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that
In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.
Although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight
How is it possible to have a civil war
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck
War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class men off to die
Religion is like a pair of shoes: Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes
The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me — they’re cramming for their final exam.
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac
If four out of five people suffer from diarrhea … does that mean that one enjoys it
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things
Slava Ukraini!
