It's Friday and time for a smile

[IRonMaN]

And once you are done reading this, you can go and find something that makes you smile.

****************

Ole and Lena went to a fair. Ole was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost.
"$10 for 3 minutes," replied the pilot.
"That's too much," said Ole.
The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10."
Ole and Lena agreed and went for a wild ride.
After they landed, the pilot said to Ole, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man."
"Maybe so," said Ole, "but I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out."

***********

Lena once had two chickens. One of them got terribly sick. So she killed the other one to make soup to get the first one well again.

***********

Ole and Lena are getting older, and vun day dey vas out in the car and Ole sees the red lights flashing in the mirror. So he pulls over and the policeman says "Ole, vat the heck are you doing?"
"Vell," says Ole, "Lena and I vent over der to da supermarket and got some tings for our dinner, and now ve yust have to go over to da drugstore for our medicine."
"OLE!" says the policeman, "Lena fell out of your car four blocks back!!"
"Oh, tank God" said Ole, "It vas so quiet dat I thought I vas goin' deaf!"

***********

Lar's friend Ole stopped by for a visit one day. "How's it going vit your marriage, Ole? Is da honeymoon over yet?"
"Vell, da marriage is doing fine." said Ole. "And Lena she treats me yust like a Greek god."
"Dat's great," said Lars. "How do you get treated like a Greek God, Ole?"
"Vel, you see, Lars, every night da wife serves me a BURNT OFFERING!" replied Ole.

************

Lena decided that she and Ole needed a bit of culture so she purchased tickets to the ballet. That evening after watching the performance for about 30 minutes Ole leaned over to Lena and whispered in her ear, "I don't see vhy dey dance on their toes. Vhy don't dey yust get taller dancers?"

************

Lena greeted Ole at the door of their apartment when he came home from work. "Guess vhat," said Lena. "Remember ve have been talking about getting a more expensive apartment?"
"Ya," said Ole. "Vhat about it?"
"Vell," said Lena, "now ve don't have to look. Da landlord yust raised da rent!"

[dkh · Accepted solution]

 TGIF

[IRonMaN]

Looks like you are "all smiles" this morning.  Either that or the person taking your picture had an unusual angle when they snapped the shot.

[dascpa]

Two little boys were sitting in the back row of a wedding.  One turned to the other and asked, how many wives can you have.  The other boy said 16.  Four better, four worse, four richer and four poorer.

[IRonMaN]

I think that is 17, but I'm not very good with numbers.

[JRC]

I'm sorry but I do not read posts greater than one paragraph.

Reminds me too much of homework and puts me to sleep..... 🙂
🙂

[IRonMaN]

I don't either, but they really aren't paragraphs if you put *********** in between them.  At least that's the rule I am going by and since it is my post, I get to use my rules 😜

[GodFather]

@IRonMaN 

Is this something we'll continue to see right up until the new tax season?  If so, I'm hoping that the new tax season comes quickly.  

[IRonMaN]

To be safe, just close your eyes until then 😟

[joshuabarksatlcs]

To be safe, just close your eyes until then.

But I do close my eyes when I work on taxes.

Also, @IRonMaN  will you read my posts if I put ********** between (or even within) paragraphs?  

[IRonMaN]

Sorry, ********* only works with bad jokes.

[joshuabarksatlcs]

RE: Sorry, ********* only works with bad jokes.

Great news to me!  @BobKamman  considers all my posts bad jokes.   

[Taxprohere]

Ole's accent changed greatly for the plane ride.

[rcooley25]

I am going to my bottle of fireball whiskey

[rcooley25]

In my younger days some of my most pleasureable moments happen right before I went to sleep.

[IRonMaN]

Just be careful with that stuff or we are going to have to go back to doing welfare checks on you.

[rcooley25]

That way you can tell yourclient that you dont see anything wrong with their return.

[BobKamman]

@IRonMaN Don't worry about the welfare checks -- that's what he's using to buy the whiskey.  

[IRonMaN]

Is he drinking that much?   He posted a picture of his office one day and in the background there was a chart with his rates

1040 EZ - 3 bottles of Fireball

1040 - 4 bottles of Fireball plus 1 bottle of Fireball for each W-2……….

[rcooley25]

I have done so many tax returns this  year that it will be over 4 years before I have to buy another bottle of fireball.

[joshuabarksatlcs]

Re: that it will be over 4 years before I have to buy another bottle of fireball.

@IRonMaN now I fully visualize why he was so agitated about that F form (late arrival by March 24) and the other Intuit target date (forgot what it was for; only remember the target date was March 17, St Patty day).

Had it not been the F form and the other target date, he could have raised the target to 6 years, instead of 4.

[IRonMaN]

Maybe if he asks, Intuit will reimburse him for the difference.  I mean, they are already writing a check for $141 million, what difference is a few bottles of Fireball?  I'm sure he wouldn't mind if they even put the Intuit logo on the bottles.

[joshuabarksatlcs]

OASN (On a Separate Note) @IRonMaN I saw you just selected @dkh 's post as the solution.

Perhaps if @dkh  posts those lips and teeth to every thread, a new solution leader for the Intuit community will soon be born.... 

[IRonMaN]

I did say "time to smile" and she was the only one to bring proof of a smile so I had to mark her post as a solution.  I would hate to have Intuit boot me off for not following their rules. 

[joshuabarksatlcs]

Very true.

Not to mention that your subject was "It's Friday and time for a smile" and the smile was timely filed.

[IRonMaN]

And I didn't receive any extension requests.

[dkh]

@joshuabarksatlcs   I don't have any ambitions to be the Solutions leader but I have set a goal to reach 200 solutions by the end of year...I'm hoping it unlocks some magical Intuit portal 

[IRonMaN]

"I'm hoping it unlocks some magical Intuit portal"

It does --------- it unlocks the door to the Intuit Ladies Room.  Of course you have to reach 300 solutions before the stalls in the Ladies Room will unlock, but you could always crawl under if you really had to.

[dkh]

In desperate times people do desperate things....I'd crawl under.  

[IRonMaN]

That's the spirit!

[joshuabarksatlcs]

@dkh  It's Monday, but I can hardly wait for Friday to post this.

How about whatever you post, I respond with my lips and dentures; and whatever I post, you respond with those lips and teeth.  We each consider (wink wink) them as solutions.  I promise, when we get there, I WON'T follow you into the ladies room.

[IRonMaN]

You don't have to do that.  Just create your own post, respond, and you have your solution.  It won't take either of you long to get to the ladies room.

[joshuabarksatlcs]

RE: Just create your own post, respond, and you have your solution.

It no longer works.  Believe me, I tried.

Joshua also barked at LCS just for that, and LCS' response was: We're Technical Support.  We're not the software user group that support each other.  You're barking up the wrong tree.  You have to bark at that Group. 

Oh well.

But before I hang up, the guy did add: At one time, that worked.  They changed the rule and called it the IRonMaN Rule.  No idea what that expert meant.  I gave that call a zero star in the survey.    

[IRonMaN]

https://proconnect.intuit.com/community/proseries-tax-discussions/discussion/search-for-the-intuit-l...

Who says it doesn't work?