I just called now.  Third party designee is not enough when a taxpayer has passed away.  Have to file a Form 56 Notice Concerning Fiduciary Relationship.  And attach things like proof of Death, the General POA I have, etc.   I knew this wouldn't be a simple one phone call thing. 

This was told to me by the Tax practitioner priority area.  I had first tried calling the general 800-829-1040 area to check on the automated refund status there and it says no information available and couldn't be transferred to an operator.