I remember diagramming a lot of sentences for Mr Johnstone in 8th Grade English class. It’s a habit I can’t seem to break. Right now I’m trying to diagram this sentence:

"To combat external risks from outside the firm network to the security, confidentiality, and/or integrity of electronic, paper, or other records containing PII, and improving - where necessary - the effectiveness of the current safeguards for limiting such risks, the Firm has implemented the following policies and procedures."

The Washington Post used to have a daily feature where they published examples of the strange language spoken by bureaucrats, under the standing headline "Gobbledygook."  Now, patriotic Americans are smart enough to realize that this is a plot to put so many meaningless words in our mouths that we forget how to speak English.