It isn't easy being me.  But since you are here, I suppose:

Paddy died in a fire and was burnt pretty badly and the morgue needed someone to identify the body.

So his two best friends, Seamus and Ross, were sent for.
Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Seamus said 'Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over'.
So the mortician rolled him over and Seamus looked and said 'Nope, it ain't Paddy.'
The mortician thought that was rather strange and then he brought Ross in to identify the body. Ross took a look at him and said, 'Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over'.
The mortician rolled him over and Ross looked down and said, 'No,it ain't Paddy'.
The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?' Ross said, 'Well, Paddy had two a**holes.'
'What, he had two a**holes?' said the mortician.
'Yup, everyone knew he had two a**holes.
Every time we went into town,folks would say, 'Here comes Paddy with them two a**holes.'