Some of the folks got a little restless today, so I thought I would do my best to speed up things at Intuit.  Since 3/17 is the start of tax season for Intuit, I thought I would start with the 3/17 jokes.  Since @joshuabarksatlcs  wanted Paddy jokes, I thought I would break with my tradition and honor his wishes.  Happy 3/17 everyone:

Paddy was worried that his wife Mary’s hearing wasn’t as good as it used to be. So he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Unsure how to bring up the issue with her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem.

The doctor said, “There’s a simple, informal test you could perform to get a better idea about her hearing loss.

“Here’s what you do,” said the doctor. “Stand about 40 feet away from her and in a normal conversational speaking tone to see if she hears you.”

He continued, “If not, stand about 30 feet away, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”

So Paddy left the doctors and decided to head to the pub before going home.

Later that day, when he gets home from the pub, he sees Mary in the kitchen cooking dinner. Standing in the hallway, Paddy thinks to himself; I’m about 40 feet away now. Let’s try this test and see what happens.

In a normal conversational tone, he asks, “Mary, what’s for dinner, my lovely?”

He is greeted with no response, so he moves closer. Stopping at around 30 feet from her, he says, “Mary, what’s for dinner ?”

Still no response, so he moves closer to about 20 feet away.

He asks, for a third time, “Mary, for christ’s sake, can ye be telling me what’s for dinner?”

Still nothing. So he tries again. This time standing again at 10 feet away, but still no response.

So, getting desperate, Paddy walks up, stands directly behind his wife and says, “Mary, can you tell me what’s for dinner?”

She replies, “For feck’s sake, Paddy. For the fifth time, it’s chicken!”