"For tax year 2020 they did not include any of this money as income"

Get their 1099-R. The employer perhaps considered 2020 a Loan from the retirement plan, and put out a 1099-R for 2021? You have to confirm = make them prove it. And of course, that changes what they are telling you about this being covid-related.

"who did not use my wonderful service" <== love it!

"I am still unsure what we are waiting for"

8915-F. F = Forever form. For Disaster years 2020 and later, for Tax years 2021 and later.

"If it is already acceptable to send in the 1/3 payment returns in an acceptable manner please tell me."

Heck, you can make the payment any time. The Return isn't ready, until the Form is ready. It seems she really wants to make that payment.