Geez, I was looking for a Word file and I ended up coming across my Christmas list from 2012. Kind of brought a tear to my eye when I saw some of our friends that have passed away. I see a number of other folks have either retired or just got tired of this place. Anyway, for those that have been around for awhile, here is the original list:
Christmas is just around the corner and I wanted to give out gifts before folks started to disappear for the holiday. So below is my list and I hope no one is disappointed with what I gave them.
Archie – I had to work hard to get it, but Intuit sold me your very own toggle switch. They wouldn’t give me the instructions on how to install it but I thought some of your Luddite Society members could help you with it.
Tilt – How would you like a brand new pinball machine? I noticed you can’t see through the glass on your old once since it is so full of cat scratches.
Dhhcpa – I’m giving you a truck load of faerie dust. I know you love the stuff and the place I bought it from also threw in a free faerie dust spreader.
TAXOH – I know that pony gets expensive to feed so I bought you a year’s supply of beefarino. Oh, I also bought you a year’s supply of Fabreze air fresheners ------------ I’m guessing you might need it.
Taxiowa – I know you struggle to get all of that change out of the backseat of that cab of yours so I bought you a Super Sucker Shop Vacuum.
Mojo – Based on your latest picture, it appears that your razor might be broken. Not to worry, I bought you a gift certificate good for 365 shaves at Archie’s barber. That should at least get you through tax season.
Sjrcpa – based on your picture, I’m guessing you are a big fan of the Blue Man Group so I have a few of their concert tickets for you.
Taxguy623 – I bought you a really nice Red Ryder BB gun. Wait a second, what am I thinking – you’ll shoot your eye out and be blind again. How about a big box of nuts, just in case you can’t find where you hid yours during tax season.
TaxGuyBill – You haven’t been around as long as some of the other folks so I wasn’t sure what to get you so I just picked up a 10,000 point Intuit gift card for you. I hope you aren’t disappointed.
Tarheelgirl – I went down to the local auto parts store and bought you a couple of different kinds of tar and sap removers so you can maybe get that tar off of your heels once and for all.
Frankly – I stole a bunch of bats from the Minnesota Twins locker room (they haven’t been using them anyway). I’m guessing you have broken quite a few of your own cracking them over the heads of some of the AllStars when we got a little unruly.
Charlotte – Since you are one of the older and wiser members of this group, I thought you would be the only one in this group to really appreciate a good lutefisk dinner. I’m sure you will enjoy it.
Dusty – I thought about teasing you with chocolate ice cream but I didn’t want to do that so I bought you a couple of tubs of Neapolitan ice cream. Hey, 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.
CMS_VA – Your desk looks way too neat so I went down to the recycling center and picked up 300 pounds of used paper to throw around your desk. It will help make folks think you are really busy and willing to pay more for work done by a very popular CPA.
Rbynaker – You have been wearing that same hat for as long as I have known you and it is winter, so I bought you a nice furry mad bomber hat to keep you warm.
Phoebe – I bought you a new arrow since it appears your old one is broken.
Skylane – I bought you a nice used force field to put around your new plane. I would hate to see your new one get destroyed like your old one. I do have one slight problem though. I forgot where I put it and those darn things are so hard to see.
Abctax – I have always felt bad that you have only been able to afford the first three letters of the alphabet, so I went down to Wheel of Fortune and purchased used letters for the remaining 22 letters. I remember from grade school “and sometimes Y” so to save a couple of bucks I didn’t buy that letter for you. If you do use “y” sometimes, let me know and I will go back and buy it for you.
Mt Juilet – I bought you a new gaurd dog to protect your supply of moonshine in the outhouse.
Poolcleaner – I thought you might be getting tired of cleaning those pools all by yourself so I bought you your very own pool boy.
Amy – you have mentioned several times about taking points and buying a cup of coffee so I bought you a bunch of Starbucks gift certificates.
Accountant Man – Since you normally don’t get Christmas presents, I did leave you off this year. Let me know if you are interested in being on the list for next year.
For my Intuit friends:
Mindy – Luckily I know a really good doctor and he hooked me up with a year’s supply of Prozac for you. I think the Intuit Mental Health team will concur that Prozac is a necessity to deal with this group.
Steve - a lump of coal. I’m only kidding. I have a few friends down in Austin, Minnesota so I hooked you up with a lifetime supply of Spam.
Moderator Lisa – You received your present early – you don’t have to babysit us anymore. That’s probably the best gift anyone here received.
For my Quickbooks friends:
Qbteachmt – I paid to have your very own special copy of Quickbooks made. It is the only version out there that does not have a journal entry feature on it.
Michelle Long – I spent a little more than I really wanted to but you are worth it. I bought you a professional football team for Kansas City. The team should be ready to play starting with the 2013 season.
Rustler – I bought you a set of training wheels for your bike. You are getting to that age that riding on two wheels can be a little dangerous.
Memere – I bought you a set of contact lenses so you can finally get rid of those goofy looking glasses.
For my friends that have been MIA –
HappyTax – what can I possibly get for someone who is always happy other than a case of Crest toothpaste to keep that smile sparkling white.
Essjay – 1000 miles of string. We haven’t heard from you in quite awhile so I’m thinking you ran out of string for those Amish phones of yours.
Tijean – My favorite Haitian has been out of contact for quite awhile so I bought several long distance calling cards so he can let us know how he is doing.
For myself – I have everything I need by having all of you as friends. We disagree at times and even have some minor skirmishes from time to time but we are all one big family when the dust all settles. Besides, if you can’t quarrel with family, who can you quarrel with? Happy holidays everyone. Oh, and by the way, by chance if I did leave you off of my Christmas list, don’t worry. I do have a bunch of Intuit gift cards to hand out yet.
Slava Ukraini!
