I'm open today. 

Why do you need to call Intuit to install your program?

https://proconnect.intuit.com/community/order-products-from-intuit/help/how-to-contact-proseries-for...

would seem to indicate they are CLOSED today. 

Have you tried the install instructions?

https://proconnect.intuit.com/community/accounting/help/how-to-download-and-install-proseries-as-a-s...

You are open today? Can you install my program?

Sure.  Just give me your credit card information, Social Security number, driver's license number, date of birth, height, weight, mother's maiden name, where you went to high school, Intuit account number, your Intuit password, a picture of yourself, a copy of one of your utility bills, your checking and savings routing and account numbers, and your Little Orphan decoder ring.  Once you have all of that information handy just call me at 1-800-867-5309.  If I happen to be out, just ask for Jenny.

for some reason, that seems like a lot of information you need except for Little Orphan Annies decoder ring. That seems acceptable. 

We just want to be safe.  By the way, I forgot that we will also need your fingerprints.  Sorry for that oversight.

🤣 Well..........ok then! I shall gladly pay you on Tuesday for your services today!