1. make a profit

2. get a W-2 job

3. marry someone that has enough credits and stay married long enough and get divorced?

You might qualify for the Nonfarm Optional Method. 

https://www.irs.gov/instructions/i1040sse#en_US_2023_publink100046084 

I used this once for a client who had worked her entire career in the federal Civil Service.  After she retired, she dabbled in real estate, usually selling one or two listings a year.  In her 70s she needed a few more quarters, and this worked.  She lived into her 90s, collecting about $55 a month.  

In ProSeries, click the "Where Do I Enter?" button and type "SE".  Then open the Schedule SE Adjustments Worksheet.

Scroll down to Part IV and check the box to use the NonFarm Optional Method.  But be sure the client qualifies to use that method.