I just want to point out that the "best answer" for "Background updates don't really happen in the background" is "Don't use background upates".

I'm not sure why, as an industry, we're having so much trouble getting this one simple idea through Intuit's collective brain.  Every single human who owns an iPhone or Android device knows what background updates are supposed to be like.

Make it silent, completely silent, really really silent, no fooling, nothing to click or check or ask or say. No admin credentials, no regular user credentials...just update the bloody app when an update is published.